The Urgency of Finding Purpose

On Wednesday of this past week, I downloaded a dozen episodes of Stanford’s View from the Top speaker series. Randomly, the one I started listening to first was with Bozoma Saint John, Netflix’s Global Chief Marketing Officer. 

In response to the interviewer’s introduction, she offered this gem on having fun in her marketing career:  

“I’m really just trying to do some good work, some fun work every single day. That is my mission, which is that I really love people. I love culture. I’m not ashamed of that. And I think there are so many ways we can learn from each other, but also do it and have a good time. What’s the point of this life if we’re not enjoying it?”

Later, Saint John talked about the lessons she learned from the passing of her husband, which she also shares in her forthcoming book, The Urgent Life. She said: 

“In Peter’s death, I found the urgency in my own life. Which meant that I knew that life is not about the speed at which you live it. So urgency is not about fast moving. It’s not about Can I get this all done today? No. It’s about the depth of your life. It’s about the experiences that you are having that actually matter. That there’s not one wasted moment—not one wasted day.”

She continued: “It’s why I’m not waiting until retirement to do the things that I want to do. I’m going to do them today. [...] It’s also probably the reason I’ve moved around so much in my career. I’m totally impatient with mediocrity. I’m looking for the greatest part of my life–today. I’m not going to wait for it tomorrow.” 

Wow. That message was right on time because earlier that day, one of my friends, a classmate from Stanford, announced that he’d run out of treatment options after a long, courageous, and inspirational battle with cancer. 

I wrote in Monday Musings almost two years ago about how mortality has been a driver for me to refocus on those things that bring meaning and joy into my life. In particular, I described two steps that helped me quit my last job and start Thrive Street: “[... At] a wedding, a friend told me, ‘I always had faith that you could crush it at whatever you did.’ That was hugely motivating for me. Shortly after, that friend announced that he was diagnosed with a late stage cancer.” 

And it’s that same friend who’s now in the twilight of his battle. 

Because of that, the urgency of living with meaning and joy was on my mind when I was a coach in an executive workshop that same day.

In a conversation on energy management during that workshop, I made a comment that having your work feel miserable for 10 hours, and then having 5 minutes afterwards for “self care” is probably not a good formula. 

I posed this analogy to the group: Efforts to manage our energy when we don’t like the work itself are like wearing a ball cap in a rainstorm. It’ll help, but you’re still going to be soaked.  

For me, the implication isn’t simply quit your job (though I am an advocate of that!). It’s more the push to evaluate How can I make my primary activity each day more meaningful and joyful? And at minimum, How can I maximize intellectual and emotional attention on the things that matter, and minimize attention on those that don’t? 

(The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck has much to say on allocating our units of emotional attention.)

For those of us privileged enough to have a choice, I don’t see a great reason not to push ourselves in that direction—and to do so with urgency. Saint John’s question is super relevant here. What’s the point of this life if we’re not enjoying it?

In that earlier post, I included a challenge question. And in closing, I’ll ask it again.  What in your life are you planning to do later? What’s stopping you from doing it now?

Leadership Wisdom

I want to share one more great moment from the interview with Saint John. The interviewer asked about Saint John’s upbringing in Colorado Springs.: “You were tall and black. You were the only Ghanian family in the area at the time. And you said of that experience—I love this—you said, ‘You couldn’t be anything else, so you had to become everything that you were.’ What did that mean at that time, and what does that mean for you today and now?”

Saint John responded: “I really couldn't be anything else. I think there’s a difference between when you’re just slightly othered and when you are fully othered. When there’s no mistaking that [singing] one of these things is not like the other. There’s no mistaking that. It’s not like I was a white girl who was a brunette and I wanted to be blonde to fit in with all the other girls. [...] Everything was so different. There was no way to try and become what everyone else was. And that was not just physical. It was not just the outward appearance. It was everything. It was the way I thought about the world as a global citizen. [...] There was no choice in trying to just simply fit in. So therefore, yes, I took everything I already had and became more of that.”