Lead Yourself First

Key Concepts

Solitude supports clear analytical thinking

“The hardest-earned kind of clarity is analytical clarity. Unlike intuitive clarity—which arises more from mental quietude than from strenuous effort—analytical clarity arises from rigorous syllogistic thought. And that kind of thinking—because of its difficulty, and its glacial pace—is best done, and perhaps only done, in solitude.” (p. 24)

Solitude helps leaders tap into their intuition

“More to the point, conventional thinking rests on certain assumptions, namely that certain facts exist. ...But intuition can tell us when part of the pattern is missing, and thus that conventional thinking no longer works.” (p. 69)

Solitude is required to find and maintain the emotional balance necessary for leadership

“The point is that every leader has her emotional limits, and there is no shame in exceeding them. What distinguishes effective leaders from inferior ones, rather, is their ability to restore their emotional balance.” (p. 87)

Solitude must be prioritized

“Scheduling a leader’s time is a zero-sum game, and fundamentally what a leader must decide is whether reflection and hard analytical work are important enough to warrant perhaps a third of the leader’s time, or whether instead those things deserve none of it.” (p. 182)

Ideas for Achieving Solitude

At Work

• Block time for deep thinking

• Set (and communicate) times in which you are not available

• Set expectations for communication (e.g., “I do not text”, “I check email sporadically”)

• Schedule no-meeting days for the whole team

• Set no-email windows—during the week or on the weekend

• Go to lunch by yourself, and don’t bring your phone

• Work from home

Outside of Work

• Meditation

• “Walking meditation”

• Exercise

• Journal 

• Parenting journal

• Drive to work with the radio off 

Quotables

“It is, simply, a subjective state of mind, in which the mind, isolated from input from other minds, works through a problem on its own.” (p. xviii)

“For if an essential element of solitude is mental isolation, its antithesis is accessibility; and the minds of our leaders today are accessible as never before.” (p. xx)

Dwight D. Eisenhower: “But it’s right that we should be busy—as long as we can retain time to think.” (p. 29)

“But intuition works best from a panoramic view, where one takes in all the surrounding circumstances….”(p. 42)

“Silence and solitude is most important in times like these. You need creativity. When you’re being chased by a bear, it’s hard to stop and invent the wheel, to find a better way to solve the problem. But you need to turn around and look at the bear—because it might not be a bear.” (p. 66)

“Self-awareness is an asset earned through introspection...” (p. 102)

“‘Leaders who are well anchored in what they believe are going to be more effective,’ says Doug Conant, formerly president and CEO of the Campbell Soup Company, and a leader widely admired for his focus on integrity and results.” (p. 131)

Brené Brown: “The biggest mistake I’ve made in my career to date is believing that solitude is a luxury” (p. 137)

“‘To me, leadership means choosing courage over comfort,’ Brené says. ‘Part of that means choosing solitude over busyness.’” (p. 138)

“And leaders in particular—whose actions by definition affect not only themselves—have more than a choice. They have an obligation. A leader has not only permission, but a responsibility, to seek out periods of solitude.” (p. 181)

“To obtain solitude outside work, one needs only to seek it.” (p. 184)

“Solitude brings one closer to the truth, and sometimes the truth is discomfiting. For a leader who is already humble, these insights are not devastating. And for any leader, they are opportunities to improve. Embrace them.” (p. 185)