Our Separate Ways

Key Concepts

Black and white executives in the study most had segregated upbringings, which affects their ability to relate once they were in the same organizations

“While the commonalities between Colleen’s and Marilyn’s professional lives are clear, what remain truly incongruent are their early life experiences. These two women’s paths would not have crossed during their childhood. There would have been no friendships, no familiarity, and no common ground to prepare them to communicate and to be genuine colleagues as adults. Such a gap in frame of reference often exists among professional women who otherwise seem to be on a par. The different social locations of poor black women and upper-middle-class white women set up subordinate and superior self-perceptions—and relationships—among colleagues.” (p. 49)

Because of when they grew up, the women executives didn’t receive formal guidance about business, but they did have parents and mentors that encouraged their achievement  

“There were three recurrent themes in the women’s narratives, regardless of the path they traveled to their managerial career. First, few women reported receiving career counseling or guidance during high school.” (p. 107)

“Second, a majority of the women in both paths reported having parents, friends, or relatives as sources of encouragement not specifically for a managerial career but for achievement.” (p. 107)

“In the case of working-class and poor African-American women many had fictive kin or guardian angels (often teachers) who provided critical social support during high school that helped them attend college. This was especially important for women whose parents did not have the material resources to pay for a college education or the knowledge or time to assist their daughters.” (p. 107)

“By contrast, many of the middle- and upper-class women found role models in fathers who were successful in their business careers. Ours is not the only study to find that fathers act as a source of occupational identification for daughters who end up pursuing nontraditional careers. Yet our study also found that many successful women grew up with mothers who were themselves employed and highly educated. This was particularly true for the middle-class black women; as a group, they had highly educated mothers with active careers as teachers, nurses, and social workers.” (p. 108)

Fitting it was harder when the women had to navigate race and class lines in addition to their gender

“Although much has been written about the organization socialization process, it has not been systematically examined through the lenses of race, gender, and class. Our analyses of women’s socialization must incorporate these lenses, because their entrance into the corporate world created an interface between people of different genders and races. A majority of the women we interviewed were either the first woman in their company to enter a managerial position or part of a very small cadre of women managers. African-American women were often not only the first of a different gender but also the first of a different race. In addition, not all of the women had a middle-class background, with its associated indoctrination to the cultural and social conventions of the managerial profession. White women from poor and working-class backgrounds had to cross both gender and class lines; while black women from poor and working-class backgrounds had to cross three lines—gender, race, and class—as they entered a middle-class profession dominated by white men.” (p. 122)

As girls and then as junior professionals, the black executives learned to build armor to help them navigate hostile environments

“Their flashbacks give us wonderful examples of the ways black women can be armored as young girls to withstand racial oppression and to possess the strength and courage to move forward into the world. Armoring is a “political strategy for self-protection,” whereby a girl “develops a psychological resistance” to defy both racism and sexism. We believe the armoring process is a critical element of the black woman’s psychosocial development. [...]These parents also gave their daughters the message that they could conquer the white world. As a result, these women developed a protective shield that buffered them against the unsavory elements of the outside world—a world where they quickly discovered that black women are often invisible, devalued, and dishonored because of their race and gender. (p. 96)

“The African-American women had to find a way to maintain a sense of worth and psychological well-being in an environment that constantly reminded them they didn’t belong.” (p. 127)

“What comes through strongly in the descriptions of African-Americans’ early years in corporate America was their ability to distinguish between what around them was a result of their own capabilities and what reflected racism or other external causes. We define this ability as “defensive efficacy.” It is clearly an outgrowth of the armoring they received as young black girls. A strong racial identity also helped the women have a firm sense of self-efficacy (belief in one’s own competency) and helped them not internalize negative perceptions of their competence. Defensive efficacy helped them to maintain self-confidence in the face of both the subtle and the sometimes blatant acts of racism they encountered in the early years of their corporate careers. Without defensive efficacy, such messages might have diminished their personal agency and derailed their managerial careers at an early stage.” (p. 127)

“Colleen Powell used similar terms to describe the lessons she learned as a managerial trainee in a large bank. ‘Basically the learning that sticks in my mind as a black person is that you must respect yourself. You must respect your capabilities. You must make others respect you. You should never let anybody trample upon you, regardless of who they are. I know who I am and I feel very comfortable with who I am. I have learned to have confidence in myself.’” (p. 128)

However, on average, the white executives didn’t receive messages as girls to help them prepare for potential discrimination in the workplace

“We believe the women’s naïve expectations stem from the messages they received as young girls. The overwhelming message, especially to middle-class white women, was a gender-neutral message—“You can be anything you want to be.” Most were not prepared for gender discrimination. As Jean Hendrick told us, “My mother never gave me advice about being a woman. She gave me advice about being a person.” The messages they received made many feel they were not constrained by their gender. While this had the positive effect of bolstering their drive, it also created a certain amount of naïveté about what to expect once they entered their managerial careers.” (p. 130)

While they believed in having sponsors to get ahead, the black executive did not always have sponsors who invested in them personally or supported them emotionally

“None of the black women interviewed related stories about white male managers treating them “like daughters.” Nor did the black women speak of white male managers as role models. African-American women were more likely to tell stories that indicated a lack of support, and none described a father-daughter type relationship with white males.” (p. 132)

“African-American women managers did not talk, as white women managers did, of “mentors” or “father figures.” They did not get the kind of psychosocial support mentoring suggests. However, they were adamant about how important it had been to their careers to find a sponsor, someone in the organization who championed their interests and publicly endorsed and advocated for their movement to higher positions.” (p. 168)

The black women faced both a “glass ceiling” and a “concrete wall”

“The obstacles to advancement perceived by the black women managers were different both in degree and kind from the obstacles perceived by white women managers. As black women, they were subjected to a particular form of sexism shaped by racism and racial stereotyping. The theoretical concept of racialized sexism also captures the idea that the experience of gender discrimination in the workplace depends on a woman’s race. For black women managers, sexism is entwined with racism. To understand the perceptions of black women managers regarding the barriers they encountered, we must imagine a two-dimensional structure: a concrete wall topped by a glass ceiling.” (p. 137)

DAILY DOSES OF RACISM

“Any one dose, taken alone, might be viewed as inconsequential. But cumulatively they take their toll, marginalizing and humiliating black women managers.” (p. 140)

HELD TO A HIGHER STANDARD

“Often the discriminatory barriers the African-American women managers experienced manifested themselves more subtly. Being stereotyped as incompetent and unqualified for the jobs they held is one example.” (p. 144)

“On one hand they are held to a higher standard, having to jump additional hurdles to advance in their jobs. On the other hand, when they display competence, their colleagues often express surprise.” (p. 145)

THE INVISIBILITY VISE

“Black women perceive that their white colleagues feel more comfortable with blacks whose racial identity is suppressed, yet African-American women managers often want to maintain a strong, “visible” racial identity at work. This clash catches African-American women in a vise.” (p. 149)

ON THE OUTSIDE: EXCLUSION FROM INFORMAL NETWORKS

“Another barrier experienced by the black women is limited access to informal and social networks in their organizations. The African-American women we interviewed felt they had less access to these networks in their organizations than white men and white women. As a result, they felt cut off from important organizational information, and less accepted as full members of the organization.” (p. 152)

CHALLENGES TO AUTHORITY

“The African-American women in our national survey sample reported challenges to their authority from bosses, subordinates, and colleagues. These challenges may well emanate from a lack of acceptance of black women in authority positions. Consequently, these challenges created an obstacle to their ability to demonstrate competence.” (p. 154)

HOLLOW COMMITMENT TO THE ADVANCEMENT OF WOMEN AND MINORITIES

“Our survey data echo what we heard from women we interviewed: skepticism about their companies’ efforts to affect real change.” (p. 155)

Because of their status as outsiders, black women found it easier (relative to their white peers) to speak out on questions of fairness. They did this, in part, to retain a sense of themselves. 

“Over time the top-level African-American women developed a refined sassiness as part of their business persona or style. By sassiness we mean a posture of speaking out that allowed them to give voice to their views without being perceived as impertinent. This finding is not surprising. Historically, African-American women have a long history of “speaking up” to transform their work sites and conditions.6 Such strong voices could have derailed these women. But they developed a knack for tempering this outspokenness.” (p. 164)

“An overriding sentiment we heard from the women was a refusal to play what they describe as “the game.” “I’ll never move up if that is what it takes,” said Mamie Jefferson. “I’ve always felt that my qualifications and my experience and my ability should be enough, but I’ve learned that is not always true.” The women placed a high value on being honest and forthright, not out of political naïveté, but out of conscious choice.” (p. 164)

“Yet we found that while the women’s sassiness was a source of strength and empowerment, it could also become an invitation for additional oppression and eventual derailment.8 In other words, outspokenness could be a double-edged sword. The African-American women who had reached the highest levels of management in our study were able to tread a fine line so that their colorful style was not perceived as a threat.” (p. 165)

“We found that the white women managers in our study exhibited two postures that were not shared by black women managers. Some saw discriminatory barriers for women but were reluctant to speak out. They accepted discrimination as part of the organizational culture. Others believed their companies allowed them to be gender neutral. For this group, individual achievement was proof that gender was not a problem. These women were more likely to echo normative corporate rules for advancement.” (p. 172)

“A number of factors inhibit white women from acting as tempered radicals. The most important is that white women see themselves fitting into the corporation, at least more so than their black female counterparts. Another factor is their belief in meritocracy. “Meritocracy is a ‘taken-for-granted ideal,’” writes organization scholar Maureen Scully, “a social system in which merit or talent is the basis for sorting people into positions and distributing rewards, such that the positions of highest authority are occupied by those of the greatest merit.” A belief in meritocracy is based on the assumption that the playing field is equal for all the players. And as long as the workplace is perceived as a fair game, there is less of a driving urge to make changes. The question becomes how to play the game artfully and credibly, rather than how to contest the game. From this position, the self rather than the system becomes the target of change.” (p. 184)

“White women’s status in corporations is another factor that contributes to their muted tempered radicalism when it comes to social injustice. Since white women are more fully invited into the corporation, it is harder for them to push back and decline privilege.” (p. 186)

The black leaders experienced additional emotional stressors, sometimes without as much support as their white peers

“Nonetheless, we did find some significant differences in the issues black and white women grappled with. Our survey data show that a significantly higher percentage of the white women were married (60 percent, versus 44 percent of the black women). A larger percentage of the black women had never married (43 percent, versus 25 percent of the white women). Only about a third of each group had children. African-American women were significantly less likely to report that they were involved in a fulfilling relationship with a spouse or significant other. Indeed, we found that more white women managers reported receiving support for their career aspirations from spouses and significant others. Perhaps the most striking difference was the anxiety expressed by the African-American women about the lack of fulfilling relationships with men in their lives. In fact, it was one of the top three personal life stressors for the black women. It was not among the top three stressors for white women, whose most frequently cited stressor was a shortage of personal time.” (p. 190)

“All the black women we interviewed spoke of the isolation they experienced in the workplace. They often found themselves the only person of color working in a sea of whiteness. Over time, such isolation takes its toll: their personal lives became flat and nondescript. Time spent with family and friends was reduced as they advanced professionally, heightening their sense of vulnerability.” (p. 190)

“Black women also suffered by having to be the Rock of Gibraltar in their family of origin. This was especially true for the women who were raised in poor or working-class families—more so than for white women from less-privileged backgrounds. Their education, professional status, and income often caused relatives to call on the black women to intervene in family problems. Some black women talked about having to intervene in family situations when a younger sibling was arrested or found to be on drugs. In some cases, the women had to assume financial responsibility for their family members—elderly parents, aunts and uncles, or nieces and nephews—who still lived in inner-city areas. This may be the reason more black women reported that not having enough money was a major life stressor: assisting their families economically often strained their financial resources.” (p. 190)

There are powerful and historical stereotypes that can get the way of more robust and effective working relationships between women of different races

“Most of the present-day tensions in the professional relationships between black and white women can be traced not only to the environments and conditions that shaped their lives, but also to a past historical context, a history of pain, betrayal, frustration, disappointment, anger, envy, and mistrust. This history begins with the institution of slavery and the dichotomized constructions of black and white women.” (p. 236)

“The “Miss Anne” stereotype refers to an elegant but callous white woman, originally the mistress of a plantation house and its slaves. Put on a pedestal by white men for her virtue, she derived her power from her position as wife, daughter, mother, and sister to the white slave owner; to maintain this power, she willingly deferred to her husband in all things.” (p. 240)

“The “Snow Queen” refers to a cold, unfriendly white woman who focuses on her own ambition at the expense of her relationships with coworkers and friends. Originally found in the Scandinavian fairy tale written by Hans Christian Anderson, the Snow Queen is a woman who is alienated from her own emotions and incapable of genuine friendship or love.” (p. 241)

“The image that appeared most frequently in the women’s narratives was the “Femme Fatale.” The Femme Fatale refers to an inappropriately flirtatious white woman who manipulates men’s desire for her own purposes. She plays a dangerous game, using her sexuality for professional gain.” (p. 242)

“The “Mammy” refers to a motherly, self-sacrificing black woman who takes care of those around her. The mythological image of the Mammy was born out of the literature of the antebellum South: she was the loyal, hard-working, caring, and trustworthy slave who was the chief caretaker of the plantation’s master and his family. Much of the mythology surrounding the Mammy stresses her strong maternal devotion toward those she cares for. In the white women’s narratives, the Mammy becomes the emotionally competent earth mother, still in the caretaker role. This contemporary Mammy is nurturing, supportive, all giving, and self-sacrificing.” (p. 245)

“‘Sapphire’ refers to a dramatic, bossy black woman who is full of complaints and mistrust.” (p. 246)

“White women may be attached economically and socially to the privileges society makes available to white men, but the price of access to these privileges is dependence and submission (Miss Anne), or isolation (the Snow Queen). On the other hand, black women are subjected to racism and kept in a subordinate position through exclusion—they have no attachment to white men. Ultimately, both groups of women are denied power by the status quo position of white men in corporate America.” (p. 250)

Quotables

“We found, as we conducted our studies, that women come to the workplace not just from separate directions but from what Kate Rushin calls “separate definitions”: they have followed their own distinct paths—created out of an individual juncture of family background, educational experience, and community values. Racial differences amplify this separation.” (p. 1)

“When these women enter the workforce, however, they all begin with a common assumption: I have a chance. They believe their business degrees, their raw talent, their ingenuity, and their industry will be the keys to their success. Then, somewhere along the way, the women—especially the black women—begin to see that people still question their authority, challenge their intelligence, and discount what they think. They are told to wait for opportunities, to prove themselves. So they wait. They continue to prove themselves. They contribute to the company’s bottom line, they take on leadership positions, and they put in excessive time, often to the detriment of their personal lives. Yet even the most successful women reach a point where they realize that their own expectations haven’t been met. That the rewards are not always commensurate with the costs. Many keep searching—and aching—for an answer. Others find this too toxic and, regrettably, bow out.” (p. 2)

“Many of the white women in our study were clearly influenced by observations of how their mothers related to men. One lesson the women learned was how to establish comfortable relationships with professional men. But more important, they believed being a “man’s woman” did not place women in a subservient role. A significant number of the women described themselves as having developed professional styles in their organizations with which their male colleagues were comfortable, much as their mothers had developed relationships that made men comfortable.” (p. 60)

“Self-reliance, a woman’s ability to take care of herself, is instilled in her at a young age. Both of these women’s stories illuminate how black girls are socialized early on to be independent, not to rely on anyone for support. They are taught to be strong. Being strong is a habit of survival for black women. Such habits are “responses to pain and suffering that help to lessen anger, give a sense of self-control, and offer hope.” A disturbing silence exists when it comes to black women talking about their pain, whether emotional or physical. Silence is one way black women have adapted to living in a world of interlocking oppressions.” (p. 96)

“One factor that contributes to commitment to an organization is feeling comfortable in your relationship to it. Feeling more tolerated than accepted undermines feelings of comfort and commitment for African-American women managers.” (p. 129)