The Dichotomy of Leadership

Key Concepts

The Dichotomies

1. The Ultimate Dichotomy—“There are limitless dichotomies in leadership…. But none are as difficult as this: to care deeply for each individual member of the team, while at the same time accepting the risks necessary to accomplish the mission.” (p. 29)

2. Own It All, but Empower Others—“First and foremost, clear guidance must be given. The team must also understand the boundaries that are in place and what actions to take should it bump up against those boundaries.” (p. 52) 

3. Resolute, but Not Overbearing—“Prioritizing those areas where standards cannot be compromised and holding the line there while allowing for some slack in other, less critical areas is a wise use of leadership capital.” (p. 75)

4. When to Mentor, When to Fire—“...while a leader must do everything possible to help develop and improve the performance of individuals on the team, a leader must also understand when someone does not have what it takes to get the job done. When all avenues to help an individual get better are exhausted without success, then it is the leader’s responsibility to fire that individual so he or she does not negatively impact the team.” (p. 85)

5. Train Hard, but Train Smart—“Leaders who pushed their people to excel, to continuously learn and grow, enabled their team to become comfortable in situations where they were previously uncomfortable.” (pp. 122-3)

6. Aggressive, Not Reckless—“We expect [SEALs] to lean forward, maneuver quickly, see opportunities, and capitalize upon them…. Aggression must be balanced with logic and detailed analysis of risk versus reward.” (p. 145)

7. Disciplined, Not Rigid—“Disciplined procedures must be balanced with the ability to apply common sense to an issue, with the power to break with SOPs when necessary, with the freedom to think about alternative solution, apply new ideas, and make adjustments to processes based on the reality of what is actually happening.” (p. 172)

8. Hold People Accountable, but Don’t Hold Their Hands—“Instead of using accountability as the primary tool of leadership, leaders should implement it as just one of many leadership tools. The leader must make sure the team understands why. Make sure its members have ownership of their tasks and the ability to make adjustments as needed. Make sure they know how their task supports the overall strategic success of the mission. Make sure they know how important their specific task is to the team and what the consequences are for failure.” (pp. 191-2)

9. A Leader and a Follower—“Confident leaders encourage junior members of the team to step up and lead when they put forth ideas that will contribute to mission success.” (p. 214)

10. Plan, but Don’t Overplan—“The lesson learned was that flexibility trumped minute details when it came to planning. The most effective teams build flexible plans.” (p. 230)

11. Humble, Not Passive—“Leaders must be humble enough to listen to new ideas, willing to learn strategic insights, and open to implementing new and better tactics and strategies. But a leader must also be ready to stand firm when there are clearly unintended consequences that negatively impact the mission and risk harm to the team.” (p. 260)

12. Focused, but Detached—“...to be engrossed in and overwhelmed by the details risks mission failure, but to be so far detached from the details that the leader loses control is to fail the team and fail the mission.” (p. 279)

It’s about balancing the dichotomies…

“Ownership is the foundation of good leadership. But leadership seldom requires extreme ideas or attitudes. In fact, quite the opposite is true: leadership requires balance.” (p. 10)

“Every behavior or characteristic carried out by a leader can be taken too far. Leaders can become too extreme and upset the balance required to effectively lead a team. When balance is lost, leadership suffers and the team’s performance rapidly declines.” (p. 10)

…and that balancing is an ongoing task

“Once balance is achieved, a leader must recognize that equilibrium will not last. Circumstances change: subordinates, leaders, employees, the enemy, the battlefield, the marker, the world—it all changes. And those changes will upset the balance of the Dichotomy of Leadership. The leader must continue to monitor the situation, readjust as changes happen, and restore balance.” (p. 288)

Quotables

“It allowed me to start looking up and out at the next level instead of down and in at my own team.” (p. 44)

“...when people become accustomed to being told what to do, they begin to await direction. Initiative fades and eventually dies. Creativity and bold through and action soon die as well. ” (p. 49)

“...the most important explanation a leader can give the team is ‘why?’ Particularly when a leader must hold the line and enforce standards, it must always be done with the explanation of why it is important, why it will help accomplish the mission, and what the consequences are for failing to do so.” (p. 75)

“...Most underperformers don’t need to be fired, they need to be led.” (p. 89)

“‘Task saturated’ was a term we used in the SEAL Teas to describe how an individual, or a team, would get overwhelmed when multiple problems were encountered simultaneously.” (p. 89)

“Don’t be too quick to fire—but don’t wait too long. Find the balance and hold the line.” (p. 98)

“Default: Aggressive. This means that the best leaders, the best teams, don’t wait to act.” (p. 149)

“Instead of using accountability as the primary tool of leadership, leaders should implement it as just one of many leadership tools.” (p. 191)

“Hope isn’t a course of action…” (p. 197)